Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Stupid shit I've heard since moving to the south: Vol. 1

So, I was in a discount book store a couple of months ago, right after I moved down here. You know, one of those last ditch effort places that attempt to sell currently irrelevant, formerly "relevant" auto biographies on some jack-off in the senate or I dunno, some super sweet, ultra-conservative  religious books on tape. Anyway, as in the south, this establishment had the local country station on the radio just cranking out what I assume to be the "hits". I assume this because my knowledge on the genre is, we'll say, limited at best. That and the cashier was "going for it" by audibly singing along.

The announcer came on in all his cheese ball, radio voice splendor and gave his spiel, "If you have any drive time requests...". Usually the banter would've just blended into the back ground but since Dolly Parton Jr. over there made me notice, I was listening. 

Announcer: "Let's go to the phones and get another request. Hi there caller, you have a request you'd like to share with us?"

Caller: "Yeah, I sure doo!" All excitedly twanged out, of course.

Announcer:"Great! What can we get on for ya then?

Caller: "I don't know...anythang!" Once again, very enthusiastically twangy.

Announcer: Understandable confused, "Anything?!"

Caller: As blissfully ignorant as ever, "Yeah, I don't care, anythaang!" 

I didn't listen to what was said after this as it was one of the dumber exchanges I've ever been subject to hearing. I was in "idiot shock". If I had to guess, I'm pretty sure it was stupid. 

Now, I and the rest of the United States of America could be confused about this; I always thought the point of going through the motion of physically making the effort of dialing the number of a radio station on the telephone DURING a request hour AND waiting for what could be upwards of ten minutes on hold was to have a song to tell the station to play!?! Who fucking calls a radio station without one idea what they'd like to hear?! Better yet, who couldn't just pull a song out of their ass on the spot even if they only listen to the radio gingerly puttering around on a daily basis?! I mean shit, she listened closely enough to catch the stations phone number to call, right? Really? Not one song idea? Really?! 


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